When I write about Gestalt therapy, I like to start by everything that happens out of the session. Therapy always starts before reaching the place where the therapeutic relationship begins taking place, it always begins the moment the client makes the decision to and it is important to be aware of it because then the process belongs to the client and that helps them reach the so much wished independence of the little boy or girl who needs permission to be.

It often happens that when confronted with the possibility of going to therapy, people go “I don’t believe in therapy” or “I don’t need it” or even frozen smiles that seem to be saying, where is the emergency exit?”

Often all alarms set off; to look inside is not an easy task. Furthermore, we sometimes think that if we go to therapy it means “something’s no working with me”

These sensations are normal and difficult, and that’s why it is so important to have a loving and compassionate therapeutic care that helps us when we take this step. As I said, I think that therapy starts the moment we decide to take this step before we arrive at the session. And this is important because therapy is the client’s process, and it is important to remember this so that the client becomes the owner of their own process.

And no, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with me, we forget that we are social beings and it’s important not to go through certain processes on our own, and unfortunately the way society works brings about isolation and very few healthy meeting spaces where we can open without feeling judged, or demanded, where we can “feel wrong” without  feeling “there is something wrong with us” or that we have a factory defect.

This takes me to the topic of “relationship”. When I heard Eduardo Guedes say that he firmly believed relationship healed, it stuck with me. Probably because I found it difficult to believe, and because for me it meant being dependent on the other. Obviously, because that was the way I moved. But with time and experience I have become aware that this really isn’t like that. In Gestalt the main tool is the therapist themselves. If we bring our attention to the relationships we establish and we understand them as opportunities of growth, they will provide us with lots of information that will help us heal the way we relate to others.

It  is important to remember that therapy works also with the relationship one establishes with oneself, and even though sometimes we may find corners filled with spiderwebs, in those corners we can sometimes find valuable treasures, our most essential part that is hidden and can help us walk through our life in accordance with our real wishes and needs.