When we start a personal process, an essential tool is self-listening. It allows us to notice our processes, see what thoughts are recurring in us generating a series of emotions that take us to known places, which may have helped us in the past but are not helpful anymore, and in some cases hinder our way.
During Gestalt sessions, I usually ask the clients if they practise meditation or some kind of practice that involves that internal listening, noticing our internal movements so that we can develop our inner, equanimous and loving observer. Before the word meditation, some get really nervous, they start to move around in their chair and laugh nervously, hoping the earth will swallow them.
Several clients express how difficult it is for them to be still in the same place all of the time, others to close their eyes, others imagine strange things about mantras and exotic things that belong to sects.
In my experience meditation is uncomfortable, we get needles and pins on our legs, everything itches, the clothes are in the way, at first thoughts overwhelm us, and what’s worst, if there is some unmanaged trauma or mourning process it can trigger the memory or anxiety and we relate quiet or silence with it.
Besides, we are so used to see perfect Instagram images doing meditation while they stand on their heads over a rock in the middle of the jungle with a waterfall behind them, that this may also trigger our self-demand, which seldom helps in self listening.
That is why when the topic comes up in a Gestalt session, I see clients avoid their gaze and direct it to the exit door.
But there are other ways that can help us develop self listening before reaching the rock in the middle of the jungle. Little by little, delicately and with a lot of loving we can come closer to other ways of moving by bringing some attention to it.
For example, a lot has been written about it, while we clean the dishes, we can bring our attention to the fact itself, specially at a body level. We can try to bring all our attention to the fingers that take the dish, and the touch with it or the sponge. Or we can try to listen to someone for some minutes with no interruption or without saying anything, and see what happens to us meanwhile, in our bodies, our thoughts. When we walk, we can bring our attention to the sole of our feet, how they move, learn how a foot lifts while the other leans on the floor, etc. There are many ways to cultivate floating listening without getting down to a lotus position.
Certainly, there are conditions of the seated meditative practise (back erected, position of the neck and the tongue, etc.) that bring some benefits to bear in mind, but until we can reach that stage we can start by simpler things that make our path easier and kinder.
Also, in my experience, and as Ajahn Brahm says, is like when we go to work. We work and gain experience day by day, and get paid at the end of the month. There are moments during the practise where we can reach peace and equanimity states, the feeling of getting home, where everything suddenly seems to fall into place. Or moments where we suddenly notice how we are about to jump to a conclusion for instance, when what we actually needed was to embrace ourselves.
In order to receive these gifts, it helps to follow the path my dog Maui excels in. Like a zen master in a Japanese temple that watches over his/her disciples during the practice, with a wooden stick in his/her hand in case s/he needs to help them back from the mental confusion with a touch from the stick, when we go out for a walk, specially during the night or the morning, when there are few people, he shows me the path of presence. I get distracted by my phone, he tries to cross the road. I get tangled in my thoughts, he suddenly takes a different path and disappears for an instant. At the beginning I roll my eyes and sigh. But little by little I recognize we have been here before, and I let myself go into my inner silence. I feel my feet rest on the floor, my eyes on my surroundings and its movements. My senses become more acute and I become aware of all the bugs crossing my road so that I can avoid stepping on them. As I move further, I feel as if layers from daily life, the rush, critics, problems, pains… slide down softly to fall down on the floor to be recycled. And meanwhile I thank that help from the floor, from Maui, and high pine trees that whisper silence.
In Conectando con tu Latir we can help you connect with that self listening. Gestalt therapy, flower essences or pericardium liberation can assist you in different ways, often complementary.
“When the weather is hot, keep a cool mind.
When the weather is cold, keep a warm heart”
Ajahn Brahm
