We have dedicated this week to grief, you can find in our instagram account everything we have shared about it. And regarding this topic we want to share something here.

“Time heals everything”, that is a sentence we hear often when we face a grief or difficult situations that become really hard at first. But, is it completely true? Is it really time what heals everything? 

Time lowers its intensity, but not completely. Sometimes in a session we work on old memories, and clients report that the emotion they feel at a body level is very intense, even after years of the event.

In our experience doing nothing and letting time do the work does not bring good results. Often our clients say they have everything figured out, the typical sentence, of “I don’t give it much thought, it happened, yes, but that’s it, I left it behind”. But suddenly they have anxiety attacks, insomnia, reiterated unexplainable aches or accidents, silly and senseless rows with their partner, etc.

With anxiety for example we usually find that the client wants us to remove it, “I don’t want to feel this, I want it to go”. But anxiety is an ally that intends to give a message. It can be difficult to manage, uncomfortable, suffocating… and it want to say something too. And the less we listen the stronger it will knock on our door… Often the sentence “I don’t want to feel this” has a lot to explain. If we search a little we find that what we didn’t want to feel some years ago asks to be listened to, the pot is about to spill over.

Or a client that has many arguments with their partner, and when we investigate a little, they may be reliving a traumatic situation from the past that has become stuck.

So, it is not time that heals everything, it is what we do with what happens to us. The passing of time can lower its intensity, and then there may be topics that I couldn’t work on, or talk about them now, and I may be able to do it in the future. Because everything has its process and both its rythm and the person’s rhythm needs to be respected. Not all of us have the same rhythm, and to listen to it is key when facing grief or the pain after loss. That is why it is so important to be present. This would be one of the essential elements, presence, to be present with whatever comes up, with an attentive and loving listening, which will allow us to be there with us in those difficult moments when it is hard to contact with what is going on inside us, with what we’re feeling, with all the intensity that is moving inside of us as the tides with the moon.

Listening to ourselves with presence, with an attentive and loving listening,  during those complex moments can help us develop resilience, accept ourselves with everything, and therefore help us accept others too. After going through these complicated situations, we don’t come out the same as we entered them, we come out with learning, experience, perspective, and our steps during the most intricate moments of our living experience become, at least, a little firmer.

To accept that it is important to part from certain situations and all the consequences they had, ways of moving around, energy that is stuck in our body, etc. is also key in order to create a healthy basis for the future. It is the importance of grieving, where we don’t only say goodbye to what or who left, but also to whom we were then.

Sometimes in the self-knowledge world, we want to solve things from a “higher” perspective, but the truth is that we are matter, and there is a lot of wisdom stored in it, and it is therefore crucial to take it down to our body and listen.

In Conectando con tu Latir, we work with grieving processes in a personalized way, with flower essences, pericardium liberation, Gestalt therapy or a combination of them. We can walk this path next to you if you find yourself in a change process and feel that you need a little extra help in order to manage it. We are always delighted to accompany those who need to find their own way to walk their path and take care of themselves.

“She was no longer wrestling with the grief,

but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and

make it a sharer in her thoughts.”

~ George Eliot